


What is Justice

by orphan_account



Category: Death Note
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Reality, Child Abuse, Flashbacks, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-10 04:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light is seven when his mother is murdered, he remembers being put in the closet and told to stay inside right before it happens. He remembers the night vividly. The door had been slightly cracked open and he had heard her scream. From that moment on his perfect family life was gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heroes

Their father usually attacked places that were concealable. Their upper arms, back, stomach, and thighs... anywhere else and the abuse would be too obvious. Light sometimes imagined revealing the dark bruises to a person that would then be forced to do something. He would play through make-believe scenarios where he and Sayu stood safely by, triumphant, as their father was carted away by a strong protector. They would smile when he was finally gone.

Light would comfort himself with the small fantasy, retreating into the far corners of his mind whenever he could throughout the day. It was a pathetic daydream, Light knew that, but he kept thinking about it.

 

 

 _Sayu held out a warm washcloth. She had no tears in her eyes, even as there was a large bruise purpling her right arm. This was normal. How repulsive was it that this, cleaning the blood off of each other, was normal? It wasn't_ fair _and Light loathed that suffocating unfairness. He wished that he could hate his father for it. Light wanted to be convinced that they did not deserve what was done to them. The punches and kicks, being thrown around, they were undeserving of the attacks made by the lost and easily angered man._

 _A man that was good once_. _A man that had changed_.

_"We don't deserve this." Light said softly, whispering the words to his sister haltingly. He didn't know where they came from, didn't know whether or not they were the truth. After what their father had said today... they couldn't be._

_But Light said them convincingly, because Sayu looked broken down._

_The house was silent as they pulled themselves together. His sister swallowed, saying nothing and taking a slow deep breath as if she needed to inhale Light's words._

_He stopped her hand by taking it in his own and looking into her warm, brown eyes. No one as good as Sayu deserved to be in pain._

_Light said it again, only this time he said_ you.

_"You don't deserve this Sayu."_

_He could always convince himself of Sayu's innocence, he knew that she didn't deserve any of this. She was good. Light wasn't sure why he couldn't encourage himself to believe that he was the same, even as Sayu repeated the words back to him with welling tears in her eyes._

_"You don't deserve this."_

_"We don't deserve this."_

_He couldn't help thinking that maybe he did._

 

 

When Light first picked the death note up, after his last class of the day, he hadn't thought that the action would have any sort of direct consequence over his future. He never considered that a mere notebook would have the power to change his life forever. That the black notebook he saw fall from the sky would corrupt its user with the simple, compelling, ability to kill.

He hadn't thought it was real, not at first. If he'd had had any indication of the absolute truth of what was written, or the lesser known truths in the other things, he probably would have set the notebook back down where he found it. Yes, the ability to kill was- but let someone _else_ be a killer, corrupted, and changed forever. Light wanted to graduate and go to college, get a job that would support Sayu. He didn't want to kill his father.

Mostly, as Light read the title and rules of the book he had thought the "death note" to be a weird, sick joke. He had wanted to take it home so that he could read the rest of the game, not to use it but to take a good look. His father had been busy with detective work. As always, his father wouldn't be home until he began to get edgy. This meant that the man wouldn't discover what Light had brought back to their house. To pass some time Light read the rest of the games rules on his way home.  **.** _ **..The human whose name is written in this note shall die... If the cause of death is written within forty seconds of writing the person's name. It will happen...**_

A small part of Light honestly wished that it was true. That writing a name down was all that it took to take a life. If only he could use it then all of his problems would disappear. The person he resented the most would be gone.

That small rotten place in Light's heart started to squelch and throb to life inside of him. It told him to take a pen and try the notebook out but that was a little, easily ignored part of Light. A part of himself that didn't in reality matter, because obviously the notebooks power wasn't real.

He took it home and showed it to Sayu. Light read the rules to her so that she would understand them. He wasn't precisely sure why he decided at the last minute to show Sayu the death note. He had thought it would make for a good laugh. That was, at the time, the extent of his thoughts on the matter.

The next day he understood that deep down he was planning to use the death note and he had wanted his sister, the closest person to him, to know it. Whether that was to stop Light or to encourage him to proceed he wasn't sure, maybe it didn't matter. She had done neither.

She had laughed over it, and looked closely at the death note.

"This is pretty dark for a joke."

"Right?"

That had been the end of it.

Light decided to give himself a day to decide if he would test it. When he went to school the next morning he left the death note underneath his pillow.

As he went through all his classes his mind continued to drift to the death note. He realized that using it would change him. If it didn't work he would have to live with the knowledge that he would have used it selfishly and if it did work... then his father would be dead.

 

 

 _Light spun around on his heels, smiling when he spotted his mother sitting at the brown park bench in the distance. In her arms Sayu was sleeping peacefully for once. His newborn sibling cried constantly. His mother told him that it was normal for babies, she said that he had also cried when he was younger, so Light forgave Sayu for being annoying, disturbing, and messy at times. She couldn't help it. Though he hoped that the phase would pass soon and Sayu would learn to walk and_ talk _quickly._

_Being a big brother was appealing to Light. He liked helping. He liked it when his mother told him that he was a big brother now. It would get more interesting when Sayu could do more than wiggle. He would teach her how to do things, and protect her. Maybe she would be very smart..._

_"Would you like to play on the swings, Light?" his father's voice brought him out of the thoughts on his new sister._

_"Yes!" Light replied. The swings were his favorite. They made him feel like he was flying._

_Light's mother was at her happiest when his father was able to get a day off from his work, and when they were all able to spend some time with each other as a family. Days such as this needed to be savored, so Light never asked questions about his father's work even when he was curious._

_He ran ahead of his father towards a swing that he sat down on immediately, kicking his legs back and forth to get himself going as quickly as he could. His father followed after him, sitting on the red swing next to Light's with a soft smile on his face._

_"How is school?" his father asked._

_"Good. Yesterday Mrs. Aiko said I got a perfect score on my arithmetic quiz." a proud smile came onto his father's face at the good news. He continued to ask Light questions, starting from the subject of school and eventually shifting over to Light's mother and little Sayu. It was a good day, one that Light was sure he would remember._

 

 

Light gazed out of the large window of his classroom, starring holes into the place where the notebook had landed. This being Light's only class with a window that he sat close to, he was always looking outside. That was what had gotten him into this mess. Not that having the death note was really a mess yet. Why was it bothering him? He hadn't written in it.

He would by tonight though. More and more, Light kept catching himself thinking:  _when_  I write,  _after_  I write,  _before_  I write. Falling away were all of his doubts. It wasn't  _if_  he wrote in the death note anymore, it was  _when._

Light felt a small twinge of shame at that. Perhaps this was a punishment for only half listening to all of his teacher's lessons. Yes, the lessons were full of things that Light had already studied before on his own, and the repetitiveness of what he was taught made it tiresome for Light to listen seriously when he hadn't found the class work interesting to begin with, but the memory of his last student teacher conference was still fresh in his mind.

All his father had heard that day, out of everything, was that Light sometimes looked inattentive in class.

For that single remark, taken out of context, the following weeks had been hellish. Never mind that Light was the top student of Japan, most of the time. Light had been forced to miss nine days of school after that and he was still working at recovering his grade point average. Continuing to look out of the window was, admittedly, a risky rebellion if he was caught but the chances of that actually happening were unlikely. His father never asked about his schooling, had only gone to the student conference to keep up apperances. If he had been more invested in Light's schooling, then maybe Light wouldn't have been looking outside the day before.

Light had looked though, and he had seen the death note. Giving himself a day wasn't going to change his mind. His choice had already been made the moment he found the notebook, now he was only biding his time, halfheartedly trying to think of a good reason not to use it. The notebook was not real, that should have meant that it didn't matter _what_ Light choose to do, but... when his mother died and his father blamed Light and Sayu, when he hurt them, he had destroyed whatever goodness was left inside of himself.

The man that took care of his family was gone and an uncaring demon had taken over. Light worried that he would go the same way. The power to kill had to be corrupting, as consuming as power to hurt another person was.

He hated the thought of Sayu having a murderer for brother. He needed to take care of her.

What was to say that Light would be able to stop at only one person? He could see himself saving other people like him, taking down the names of criminals. Light knew the book was a fake but holding it, the texture of the book felt like nothing he had ever held before, a sizzling black energy saturated it. Light shook his head, feeling ridiculous.

Going home Light felt the rotten part of himself growing larger, and his fingers itched to take action as he opened the door to his house, he felt a mounting pressure readying itself for release. 

He didn't realize that Sayu had a heart rotting inside of her too. He should have realized it earlier. As Light walked up to his room he should have noticed that something wasn't right. In his bedroom he could hear the sound of the TV playing. Why was Sayu in his room listening to... the News? Light opened his door. At his desk he could see Sayu's back, he could see her writing frantically on something-

Sayu no.

She hadn't even turned her head when he entered the room. On his bed the pillow was missing. His pillow was on the floor. The death note missing. Sayu? Sayu hated their father. In her mind he had never been a father at all, and she never called him that or respected or cared for him in any way. She was afraid of their father and hated the man for it. Unlike Light, she could not remember a time when they had all been a happy family of four. She couldn't hope that something would change for the better in time. On the News there was something being shown about a criminal dying of a heart attack... Slowly, Light walked forward and the notebook came into view. Names, names, more names then he could imagine... Sayu was writing in the death note.

"Sayu no." Light said, staring in shock. Her head whipped around to look at him. A satisfied expression gleamed up at him. It was her eyes that froze him in place. Frenzied, crazed eyes. Eyes that looked just like their fathers after he'd taken his belt off and- Light swallowed as she looked up at him, he couldn't breathe.

His world was being ruined. She wasn't supposed to look at him with those eyes. Would he have looked like this? Would he have scared Sayu? That was the last thing that he had ever wanted and the last thing that Sayu wanted, he was sure. Light buried his fears quickly, hoping that she hadn't seen anything in his eyes. Ink covered her fingers and the second page was more than halfway though with names.

So many names.  _Too_ many names were written. Not Sayu. She couldn't be a murderer. She was always supposed to have warm, kind eyes.

In seconds Sayu was babbling happily.

"I did it for us Light, and it worked. The death note worked, can you believe it? It's okay. I knew you would always feel bad about killing him but I know that I never will. He deserved to die. I just wish I saw it when it happened."

Her eyes looked hot, burning, and impassioned. She held the notebook open wide for him to see. At the top of the page, in black ink, one name stood out to Light.

**_Soichiro Yagami. Shot by a criminal. He dies painfully._ **

Light read and reread that first name. He didn't care about the others, and there were a lot of others. It felt so right that Soichiro Yagami should die in that way. In as much pain as possible. It was wrong to feel that way though. Sayu should have never written that name. Sayu had gotten home earlier then Light. He should have took the death note with him instead of leaving the temptation for her to find and be alone with. Sayu should have been safe in her room, why had he not realized earlier? Why did he show her that stupid book? She never should have had to kill anyone. Light shook his head to clear it, or to deny what was happening. He realized that she was still talking even as his mind reeled.

"Then I realized. Why stop at him? He was a bad person but not the only one that deserves to die. There are evil people all around the world hurting others. Killers, and abusive husbands that hurt their families. I,  _we_ , can write all the names down and, Light, the world will get me better and better." Sayu said with triumphant grin, holding the note book open for him to see, moving forward to be closer to him.

As if through showing Light the proof of what she had done, who she had murdered, would make him believe that she was alright.

All it showed him was that he had been right. The death note did make people crazy, even a good girl like Sayu. How horrible of him. Why hadn't he ever considered that Sayu would do the same thing he would, was capable of doing the same thing he had been planning? They could be so alike sometimes.

"We would be heroes."

What was she saying now?

"Sayu, the book isn't real." Light murmured, feeling choked. It couldn't be real. It had to be a lie. Sayu couldn't be a killer.

"No. It is real, I checked it on TV. Isn't this amazing Light, Light? Aren't you happy?" her eyes lost their burning heat for a moment and instead she looked curiously at him.

"He's dead. We don't have to be scared again. We can kill anyone that gets in our way." she said softly.

Light looked at her, took in the slow warmth filling up her eyes again. It was going to be okay. Sayu was still Sayu, still his baby sister. He would protect her, always. Swiftly Light's hand jabbed out, snatching the death note away from her. He turned around and ran down the stairs to the kitchen. He knew that the matches were in the kitchen, inside the bottom left drawer.

"Light? Light what are you doing?" Sayu called.

He could hear her footsteps following him.  _I'm sorry, Sayu. I'll fix this._ In moments he had the matches, his intentions were clear. "NO." She screamed. He'd never heard her yell at him.

"I'm sorry, Sayu."

Her hands reached for the death note, grabbing at his arms and trying to rip it from him. He didn't allow her to. He lit a match and shoved the book to it. Sayu screamed, as if he was hurting her.

The death note was destroyed more quickly than Light would have imagined, burning up almost at once. An ugly, green glow colored the flames as Light flung it into the empty sink. Sayu was hitting him and still shouting.

"Why did you do that? WHY? How could you? After everything I told you. It saved us. It saved us."

Light pulled her close, hugging his little sister tightly.

"It didn't save us.  _You_  saved us. You did it. We don't need the death note anymore." Light said as she pushed at him.

The death note would have only corrupted her more.  _Let me save you._ They sunk to the floor as Sayu lost all of her energy. The room became quiet as they sat on there. What Light had said was true.

_Sayu saved us. She saved me._

"We could have saved everyone." she whispered to him. They would have been heroes,  _Gods_.

"I know. I know it."


	2. What's Happening?

_Light sat in his chair, quietly sipping his soup. Across from him his father drank and read the day's newspaper. It was close to midnight. Light had no idea what the point of reading the newspaper now was. He could only see that his father didn't wish to look at either of them and Light made sure to be as unassuming as possible because of it. His chest and shoulder were still sore from yesterday._

_Then, father glanced up. It was unexpected enough that Light didn't look away when the fierce eyes locked with his and then traveled away to Sayu._

_"I want both of you to bring me your school work."_

_The request made Light anxious. The predator had woken up again. Though he couldn't put a finger on why as his scores were perfect, catching Sayu's glance to make sure she would follow his lead and feeling confused, Light slipped out of his seat to make his way upstairs. Away from the food they had barely gotten a taste of. He picked up his school binder and then checked up on Sayu. She was busy stacking homework pages full of doodles together into a pile._

_"You should keep better order of all this." Light said, smiling at her as he leaned down to grab the nearest heap to help sort through it. He actually felt a little bad, normally he would have been helping her with her school work more diligently, everything had just been a little out of control lately and he'd forgotten._

_He noticed she hadn't fallen very far behind though and felt some pride in that. Sayu could keep up well even without him standing there to hold her hand all the way. The mess was relatively easy to figure out._

_"Why does he want to see our homework?" Sayu asked innocently._

_"He wants to know what our grades are." Light answered easily. That was the easy response. She nodded as if he had answered her real question. He didn't let her know that he was just as bewildered as she was. Three years ago it wasn't so unusual to show their mom what they did at school, right after the school day, but this was dinner time. It was strange._

_Father had put down his drink and newspaper by the time they came back downstairs. His hands were clasped together on the table as he watched them enter, eyes calmly moving from one child to the other. Somehow, Light got the impression that his father was faking being relaxed. They had obviously kept him waiting for awhile. Why wasn't he standing up? Why did he wait so patiently? Why didn't he look angry? Questions started to swarm and fester, bothering Light so much he felt a heavy sigh that begged to slip from the back of his throat, a small headache forming in his temples, his jaw started to hurt as he clenched his teeth too much._

_Together, Sayu and he slowed to a tense stop before the edge of the table. The food smelled delicious. All Light wanted to do was eat. That was all that he had wanted to do for the entire day. Why couldn't they just eat like a normal family? Should he go around the table to give Father his homework? From the corner of his eyes Light could see Sayu looking at her seat. They hadn't been told to go to father or to sit down. Fortunately she didn't make a move. It was better to look like a stupid, confused, idiot around their father then to assume wrongly and face a violent outbreak. With no indication to tell them what the right choice was in this situation it was best to stay still. That was the right thing to do. It was. For a moment Light felt panic. It was the right thing to do, wasn't it?_

_Then when his father held out a hand Light allowed a tiny breath of air escape his lungs. He walked to his father, willingly. This was the worst type of relief but having anything to do was better than needing to idly wait for instructions. He handed forward his schoolwork feeling hot and cold._

_There was nothing to worry about. His grades were perfect. He tried to come up with anything that might be seen negatively but nothing came to mind. His father looked at it all, eyes cool and uninterested. It was the lack of interest that hurt the most. Vivid resentment followed that hurt._ I know you don't care. Why did you even ask for it then?

_The pages were rifled through and carelessly judged, everything becoming disorganized, as though his father already knew what he would see. Light always excelled in school. Still, the moment dragged on. It wasn't that much but Light still felt incredibly uncomfortable by the end._

_It wasn't until his work was given back to him with a brief nod and Sayu handed over her work that Light's mind suddenly clicked into high gear. It was like he could think clearly again, think so far ahead that he was seeing the future and what he saw he didn't like. A mantra started to repeat itself again and again in his head._

_Sayu has a D in math. SAYU-_

_Their fathers eyes transformed, blank to angry, rapidly. Then he was standing up from his chair, it skid across the floor with a noisy screech. Light flinched as a hand reached out. It didn't grab him though, it grabbed Sayu and pulled her forward._

_"What is this?" father growled, the slur in his voice more pronounced now that he wasn't hiding behind masks. His sister didn't answer the question. She trembled as the papers were brought up closer to her face._

_"I can't stand for this. Sayu, you should know better." His father spat her name like it was trash. "Why are you bringing home these grades?" He shook her twice back and forth, Sayu's little head bobbing like a limp doll._

_"Well?"_

_"Mm sorry" She whispered guiltily. It didn't matter._

_"Are you stupid? Are you?" Their father shouted, large hand raising high in the air-_

_It wasn't fair. They had a lot more chores to do now. Sayu had tried as well as she could. She really did. Why was it her fault that she wasn't as smart as Light was? It was Lights fault, he hadn't helped her. He always helped her and he didn't do it this time. Light tried to figure out how to say this as Sayu raised her free hand up as a shelter from the blows. It didn't help at all though. When Sayu got punched it was unnatural. She was such a little girl and their father was so much bigger, even bigger than Light. It had to hurt much more for her. Light's tongue twisted around in his mouth, he wanted so badly to say stop._ Daddy please stop. I'll help Sayu better. I'm so sorry.

 _All this ran through his head, pleadingly... Light didn't say a word. He didn't make the whining sound he wanted to as Sayu cried. It was almost like he couldn't. Light stood stalk still as though surprised, as though he was afraid and useless and lost. Light felt sick, with himself. Light's hands trembled against his will as he watched. It was all wrong. What was_ _justice? Hadn't father said_ when someone is hurting another person you have to stand up for them? _Light had thought that he would, three years ago. Now Light knew he wasn't a good person._

_Sayu fell to the hard floor as she was dropped, an awful noise tearing from her lips. She didn't get up before mean eyes were on Light. It was his turn now. He hadn't helped Sayu._

_"Go sit down and finish your dinner." He was ordered sharply._

_No! Don't tell me that. I'm too sick to eat. I can't eat. Silence reined. Her small head rested on the ground, mouth taking in sharp breaths, hair sticking to her wet cheeks. Sayu couldn't see Light and Light couldn't see Sayu's face. Was she blaming him? Irrationally, very irrationally, Light wanted his punishment to be equal to hers so that they could always stay with each other._

_With limbs like a puppet on strings he shakily moved as requested._

_"See? Good children do as they are meant to. Good children receive good grades and they get to eat." His father said as Light sat down._

_He starred at Light until he picked up his spoon. Mechanically dipped it into the bowl, scooped up soup, placed inside mouth. Swallowed._

_Dirty. Manipulated. Obedient. The evil, satisfied eyes, watched him closely. Eyes just like the killers were only set in his good fathers face. It was so scary. Why was that time always, always, always being shoved in his face? Light was humiliated. Desperate to be saved, for something to change. Trying to breath Light had to restrain himself from crying. His chest burned with it. Oh how it hurt. He was going to die of a heart attack from the shame and the pain. His headache was growing._

_Why can I never help? I'm so sorry Sayu. Sayu. Sayu._

_The soup tasted like warm muck. It was garbage in his mouth. Tainting Light with poison. Soon his father was finished with her, all the anger draining deceptively from his face to leave nothing behind. It wasn't finished. The game was never over..._

_Father was reading the newspaper again. His drink polished._

_"It's dark. Please open up. I'm sorry so much. Please!" His sisters muffled voice sobbed from inside the locked closet. The handle rattled as she uselessly tried to escape._

_Her voice rang in his ears. Light wanted to jump up and run to the door. Why did she have to be put there? Light tried to decide if he should eat faster or slower. Faster, he could go upstairs to "bed" and wait for Father to sleep. Then he could creep back down and move the chair away from the door. Slower, he could figure out how to save some of the food before it was put down the sink, wasted. If he didn't finish his entire meal would that be suspicious? Light had no doubt, his father would notice something out of the norm even if he wasn't actively keeping watch. If Light didn't act... more crying and screaming. It was so dark in there. Please wait a little longer sister, I'll get you out when father goes to sleep. It was already 1:15. Light only had to wait. After dinner his father would go to his own room or lay down on the couch and stare at the TV for the rest of the night._

_Eating the last of his soup Light gently stood up. Then reached, as if naturally, for Sayu's bowl. When he wasn't stopped Light took the two bowls, empty and full, to the kitchen. He washed one, filled it with water and poured the water out, then washed it again. Hopefully, it would seem like he had washed both of them out. Hopefully. It was a really stupid plan. Beneath what he would have thought his mind should have been able to provide in the moment. This definitely couldn't work. Why was he trying this? But resolutely he opened the cabinet beneath the sink and placed the small bowl inside._

_"Light."_

_The soft spoken words made him freeze. He was caught. How would he explain-_

_"Go up to your room and wait." The words were barely above a whisper, coming from the outside of the kitchen. The words this is your punishment did not need to be stated. A secret punishment? Why? But Light had Sayu's bowl safely hidden. He closed the small cupboard and stood up from his crouched position silently._

_"Yes, father"_

_It was a long time before Light heard the sound of squeaking stairs. For a moment Light prayed his father had forgotten about him and was just going to his room to sleep. As nice as the thought was though, if it happened he would be left standing the entire night. He would probably fall asleep and then he would be in more pain when he was caught in the morning, and he wouldn't be able to get Sayu. Sometimes, a rotten part of Light wished that his own father would die._

_The door twisted open. Malicious brown eyes. This man was a police chief._

 

 

Light hugged Sayu close. Their father was dead, forever, and the death note was destroyed. They couldn't take anything back now... and, he didn't want to. The deaths, they were all criminals, deserving of what was done to them. He agreed with Sayu. But it was a good thing that Light got rid of the death note when he did. It was too much of a burden even for her. Yes, he had acted rashly and now that the adrenaline of the moment had passed he was questioning his actions thoroughly. Was burning the death note a decision that only seemed like the right thing to do at the time?

Light himself had been planning to do exactly what Sayu did, and he never would have destroyed the death note. He would have used the death note once and after that, never planning to use it again, only ever if something came up that needed to be handled in such a way. It could have been a form of protection. Now the siblings would never have that safety net. Would he have done something differently if he had taken a moment to think things through though, listening without bias to Sayu?

Did that matter now? What Light really needed to concentrate on was what they would do before someone came to inform them of their father's death. If that happened Light and Sayu would have no say in what the future held. They would be taken to an orphanage or a foster home. He never wanted either of them to be referred to as throwaway children.

Sayus shoulders started to shake. Was she crying, starting to come to any of the same conclusions he was? He pulled her closer. No, more likely the fact that she had just murdered a... lot of people was settling in. He couldn't wrap his mind around the idea himself. It made him worry.

"It's going to be okay. I'm going to protect you." He murmured softly into her flyaway hair.

 She was starting to look a mess and it broke his heart. On anyone else he was sure he would have been much more critical of their current predicament. It was weak to cry, really, and his shirt was getting tear stains. But this was Sayu so he said nothing of it. He pet her hair gently. Moving away stray strands from  her face.

He didn't think, as siblings, they would be separated. Other than that, what else was there? They could run away. No, bad idea. It would only cause trouble and bring unwanted suspicion. Running away the day their father died? Both of them would have to quit school and it would look like blind panic, though there would be no proof that they were guilty of anything. Running away would only make their lives difficult. Besides, both of them were almost of age. Light could easily prove himself eligible of taking care of Sayu once he got into To-Oh University.

He was a genius after all and Sayu's brother. They had no other family, not even distant extended family that might offer them a home for the short while it took for Light to graduate and begin collage. Light knew very little about his father's financial status right now. His father never spoke of it. The only computer they had was strictly for homework and kept in their fathers bedroom, even though Light could look everything up if he'd needed to he had always had a slight aversion to touching the thing after having been caught looking at cases when he was younger. Now, their father was dead.

"I want to check something." Light said.

He lifted Sayu and himself from the dirty ground. As expected her face looked red from the tears. They would need to clean up before anyone came here. No one could suspect anything. Though Light couldn't think of any reason that they would. Soichiro Yagami died, but without the death note there was nothing to link Sayu to his death.  _Except_ that Sayu had a motive, simply because Soichiro Yagami was a cruel man that deserved to die painfully. Holding her hand tightly Light went to his father's bedroom. A stale smell permeated the place. Disgusting. Their father had let himself go horribly after their mother was killed. He may have been presentable on the outside, at work, but behind closed doors everything was broken.

"Why are we in here?" Sayu asked.

Light blinked. His mind brought back to reality. His eyes shifting to peer at an old computer. It was one of the only objects in the room that was still in use, Light thought, taking in the rest of the dusty room. He didn't know what, exactly, he wanted to find as he moved forward. He knew that he needed to find  _something._  Anything to ward away the distinct lack of having any idea what to expect in the next few hours. Right now Light had what he'd  _never_  had when his mother was killed and their life went to the dogs: Time beforehand to make a plan.

"I'm not sure."

That was all he said as he opened the laptop and typed in the password. Luckily, after all these years it hadn't changed. Light was relieved that he wouldn't have to figure that out. As the screen loaded Light tapped at the desk. What should he search for? What would help them the most?

If he remembered correctly, which he did, and if nothing had changed over the years, which was possible, his father kept what he thought was important hidden in his closet, on the third shelf above his shoes.

Standing up, Light went there and took everything out. Setting it all on the bed to figure out what was what. It looked orderly enough and was simple to understand. Sayu waited by the door, watchful, but obviously unwilling to enter the dark room. Light understood. He felt a similar aversion and was only in the room because this needed to be done, sort of for himself. In any case it was best that Sayu didn't follow him as her help was unnecessary. Light would never say so, not to her, but he did his best when he wasn't constrained to working with others.

"I can't believe this." Sayu spoke suddenly. Couldn't believe what? What? Light glanced over at her. Sayu stood in the doorway staring at the bed.

"How do you mean?"

"This. We are in  _his_  room and  _he's_  dead and this place looks exactly how I remember it, and it gives me the creeps. Is this really happening? This cannot be happening. Is this happening?" Sayu was glancing around the room with wide eyes. Light had trouble pin pointing her mood. Was she shocked? Distressed? Or maybe, happy? He stopped what he was doing to turn and face her fully. How should he answer?

"Yes." Light said simply, and it was the honest answer even if he wasn't sure he was really answering her in the right way.

But he couldn't say  _no._  He couldn't fool her into believing that this was all a strange dream. Even if that was somehow the right thing to say, and they really were dreaming this entire situation into existence. And the book was a fake. The TV was a lie. Their father was alive right now and they needed to get out of his bedroom before he came home- Light didn't think he had it in himself to say  _no._  Because if he was the one asking, if this was his dream... he needed the answer to be  _yes. Or he would lose his mind._

She starred at him blankly as though surprised with what he had said. He could admit that that it wasn't his most descriptive explanation ever. Usually, there was more to be said though. More to be explained... Light could describe what the notebook did. Tell Sayu that the notebook had a strange texture to it and that the flames went green as the death note burned. He could tell her that it killed people. He could tell her that  _she_ killed people. But Sayu knew it already. So Light didn't know what to say.

 

 

_"One day I'll be old enough to take care of us both. I'll be able to. We- we'll live..." Light trailed off, he didn't know. Would they live like kings? Light wanted to say alone, away from their father, safe. But at a loss for words he stopped rambling. That happened a lot around his family. He couldn't comfort his sister. He couldn't stop his father. Not through words or pitiful strength or even tricks._

_"I'm such a fool. I can't even make you feel better." It became quiet after that._

_"... happily?" Sayu suggested. It was ideal and hopeful and right. She knew exactly what to say. What Light should have said._

_"Yes." He smiled. Then Sayu was smiling at him and he was smiling even more than before._

Light promised himself that he would do whatever he could to make their dream a reality.

In the next moment Sayu ran into the bedroom to hug Light. Not laughing, or crying, or speaking at all. She just held him close.


	3. Go

_It isn't easy to forgive. Holding on to a grudge, while painful, can be so much more satisfying._

 

 

Sayu slipped under the shower head. The warm water sliding through her thin fingers when she raised them up. While her brother shut the laptop down and put away the papers he found she had taken her leave; walking down the hall to grab a red T-shirt and shorts from out of her closet. She needed to clean up and it was better to take advantage of the luxury now.

In any case, it went unsaid that Sayu needed some time alone to sort through the afternoons events. Everything of the last couple hours seemed like dream. It split her down the middle when she looked at her fingers, still quavering from the shock of what was done. Chaotic, the memory of that pen in her hand. Now, nothing in the world would ever convince Sayu that doing it wasn't justified. _That_ man and _all_ of the others had been evil, always, and it would have never changed. Light might have hoped so but even he had planned to use the death note. Something needed to be done. Why else would he have kept it? Even so, Sayu didn't want to think about that fleeting look on Lights face.

An upset expression.

Because she was a murderer?

She had saved Light from needing to write the name himself!

Sayu scrubbed herself harder. The soap massaging her tense shoulders. Forcing the muscles to relax. What had he seen, so terrible, to make him take the death note away from her? She had been saving lives, saving _their own_ lives, and yet it hadn't made him happy. She wanted happiness. Sayu loved Light, he was the single good thing in this ugly world that she had.

The death note had given her the chance to make a better world. It was a gift. It was almost fitting that something so divine was delivered to her by Light, the purest person that she knew.

 

 

 _Sayu entered the house without a sound._ _At this time of day she would be the only one here. She went to the kitchen and poured herself a cool glass of water, rinsing and drying it when she was finished. She was thinking about the little black notebook again. She wasn't sure that Light would have left it behind but she found herself taking the stairs two at a time. Inside, his room was clean, ordered and pristine as always._

_What she searched for was easier found than expected. Innocently hidden beneath a bed pillow. With a shaky breath Sayu picked it up._

_Then flipped it open to look at the rules, she remembered everything that Light had said though._

_She would have six minutes, more than enough time, to write down the cause of death. All she needed to do was imagine his face._

_Reaching into her pocket Sayu grabbed a pen. Wait. This is murder._

_Light?_

_If it works than it's worth it._

_And she wrote: Soichiro Yagami. Shot by a criminal._

_Pause._

_He dies painfully._

 

 

The notebook had given her a power that was intoxicating. In a sense, Sayu still couldn't believe what Light had done with it. She couldn't quite resent him for his actions, she never could do that, but overwhelmed tears had dropped freely because for the first time in her life she had felt strong and safe and right. Now she felt lost again. _Worse._ His upset expression kept bothering her, haunting the edges of her memory. What had made Light so upset, enough to set the notebook on fire? Fear? Of what? Sayu would never... kill Light. He knew it. She wouldn't kill anyone that was good. That wasn't what the death note was for. Just the suspicion that he might have thought that she could, it was insane. It disgusted her. How-

No, Light was too smart for that. It wasn't what he thought. Why would _Sayu_ think that? Shaking her head she finished washing her hair and turned the water off. They would have been heroes. Not anymore. Pulling a beige towel around her body she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She let go of the fleeting dream that plagued her. It wasn't worth remembering.

 

 

_Screee._

_The last stair step always creaks on the left side when pressure is put on it. Sayu will usually step on that step to show her brother where she is. If she is going upstairs or downstairs will can hear it. Both of them, though neither would ever say so, are hyper-aware of their surroundings. It's more comfortable when know what is happening around the house. Mostly they won't stay at the house though, they go outside and look around._

_"Let's go to the park?"_

_Light is sitting on the couch looking over his homework._

_He doesn't answer her yet but by the incline of his head she can tell he is thinking it over. He puts his pencil to his lips, eyes becoming distant before he lifts the papers from his lap and looks up._

_"It's windy outside. Are you sure you want to go to the park?" Light asks._

_Sayu blinked, she hadn't thought about that. All she wanted to do was get out of the house. Her homework was finished yesterday, there was no school today. Neither of them went to cram school or anything else, luckily Light was around to pick up the slack. He could be a great teacher. Maybe one day he would be one? Or not. The image of Light throwing erasers at spaced out students, while amusing, didn't really fit him. Teaching would bore him._

_"Well, why are you smiling? Do you want to go?"_

_"Yeah, we don't have to go to the park though."_

_"Let's just go somewhere fun together."_

_Light looked thoughtful, probably factoring in all of the places that they could get to just by walking from here. Not many, but the house was just too small to stay inside day after day even on a cold morning like this one. In truth, Sayu hated the house. She looked around and the painful memories outweighed any good. It was better to just give up on it and go somewhere else whenever possible, like now. With him._

_"Alright," Light got up gradually, his back hurt still from the last time but he was healing up, hopefully the fresh air would do him some good. "Go grab your jacket-"_

_"Yes!" Sayu was already running to her room before he had even finished._

_"Sayu."_

_"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jacket, scarf, gloves, the works. I know already. Be back in a jiff."_

 

_Light smiled as she ran up the stairs two at a time, always so energetic it was hard to keep up. Placing his schoolwork into his backpack and pulling out his own well-worn brown coat he thought of a somewhat warm place that they could go to. A friends house, possibly? Or they could go to the mall. It was a little out of the way but they had gone there often enough together before. Knowing Sayu, in the end, the destination would not matter. Tugging his coat on carefully Light let his fingers graze the now yellowing bruises on his right side. It hurt like a bitch, though it was already healing. Light wasn't the type of person to bruise so easy._

_Thump_

_thu-thu-thud-thump_

_Screee._

_"Okay, let's go." Sayu smiled breathlessly. She ran over and grabbed his left hand, pulling him toward the door happily._

_Light tugged at her halfheartedly to slow them down, his side burning a little even though she was clinging to the uninjured side. Sayu was the only one that ever saw his real smiles and it was because she was who she was. Optimistic even in the worst environment. Constantly trying to make the best of every given situation._

_"Where will we go?" she asked._

_"The mall."_

_"What? That's far away."_

_"We can look at the shops and it will be warmer."_

__She groaned loudly, making a show of being distressed, but the gigantic smile on her lips said she didn't care about the long walk. She was getting her wish regardless._ _

 

_The powder blue sky was pretty. Long streaks of white, striped clouds hiding the suns warmth away. Sayu took the time to chat about a green bracelet her friend had bought. Run-on sentences with no meaning, only a purpose to keep away the silence and distract from the cold wind nipping at their heels. Together, walking closely with linked arms, Sayu couldn't help noticed they looked the part of a happy couple._

_What did real, happy, families look like? Did they find the time to go out in this way? Light and Sayu did this to get away but how would it be if they did this just for leisure? How would this be if they had real parents?_

_"We could look at the jewelry shops if you want..." Light said absently, his soft brown eyes jotting across the near empty street. They were almost to the mall._

_From the looks of it her brother could care less about the  jewelry, his eyes were distant but he cared about Sayu... that alone was something precious._

_"Nope. I could care less about silly jewelry some girl got. We should do something fun."_

_Something fun that the both of them would like._

_"Hmm, it was a silly bracelet now?" Light grinned teasingly. Whatever._

_"Shut up." Sayu huffed. "Let's go to the book shop instead." She pointed the way. Really, without question, that was the kind of activity that the pair of them could enjoy at the same time. Sayu would read her manga and Light would read the wordy encyclopedia books that he loved so much. Sayu knew that she had said the right thing when Light smiled at her._

_"Okay."_

 

 

Screee.

Light was lifting the ringing telephone off of its hook, an uncommon sight, as Sayu walked into the kitchen.

"Yagami residence. This is Light speaking. Yes? Yes." Light listened patiently to the speaker, his face entirely composed. Sayu was unable to make out what the muffled voice on the other end was saying. Straining her ears would do nothing so she waited for the call to end.

Was it the police? Light seemed to be putting on a small show, his voice portraying a tinge of rough sadness. It must have been the police, calling to inform them of Soichiro Yagami's death. Not that either sibling needed to know it. A small shock of glee ripped through her. Until it abruptly stopped.

What would happen now?

"Alright. I see. Yes, I- No... we don't have any other relatives... thank you. We will see you soon, then." Light hung up with a resigned air.

What was he saying? See who soon?

"Who was-?"

"One of Fathers colleagues," said Light, moving closer to bring the last bowl to the table. "Mogi. He's going to come pick us up soon. It seems we will be living with him until everything is sorted out."

Sayu nodded. Until everything is sorted out. What did that mean? How long would it take for things to settle and after that-

"Then they'll put us in an orphanage?"

Light looked over at her; giving her a sharp, assessing glance.

"That is a possibility." He nodded slowly, unwilling to lie.

When Sayu said nothing more he motioned for her to eat. "Better to finish now, I doubt they'll expect us to be very hungry."

The leftover udon was warm. The prospect of a full stomach somehow making the situation more bearable. To Sayu, it felt weird, this should have been a good time. That is how she imagined it while writing in the death note. Instead the meal was somber. The last meal they would ever have in this ugly house. She had been caught up with getting rid of as much evil as she could in one sitting, not considering the situation thoroughly. It was irritating to realize.

"Light?"

He looked up.

"Yes, Sayu?"

"Let's leave."

"What?"

"We could pack our things and live somewhere on our own. We don't have to go to some weird place-"

"I know what you're thinking, but it would be better for us if we go along with what the authorities on

the matter decide." Said Light.

That was probably the truth but Sayu didn't want to have to live with this Mogi cop. A man that had worked every day with a person that she honestly hated.

Catching the uncertainty in her expression Light continued.

 

"I know it seems scary right now. Not knowing the type of person that Mr. Mogi is, or what living with him for awhile will be like, and not knowing what happens to us after that. But I promise we're going to be okay. Living in a new place isn't impossible. We never wanted to stay _here_ anyways. As for the orphanage, siblings are normally placed together. Even if that doesn't turn out for us I'm going to be of legal age soon. When that happens I will _definitely_ be able to take you in. We can rent a small apartment for ourselves. Actually, even before that I am confident that I could get a job to support us..."

Light was trying to convey security as though he knew precisely how the situation would pan out. He could guess rather well but even he had no idea what would happen to them step by step. He was saying whatever sounded nice with an earnest face, hoping that that would be enough. At least, slowly, his speech appeared to be sinking in. The worry on Sayu's face gradually receding.

"... how about we pack our things now?" He asked, moving to stand up and take their dirty dishes to the sink. Leaving Sayu as she rose to go pack her things, and giving her time to think. He had to come up with a plan himself and saying too much might only move to unsettle Sayu further.

One question nagged at Light.

What would really happen to them?

He had never been able to keep a job before even when Sayu tried to cover for him. In the end he was found out, forced to quit and give the money saved over to his father. His sister had screamed the first time, pacing his room with angry and helpless tears later.

Light continued to steal from his fathers wallet after the fury died down.

Their father was sporatic and creative, constantly paranoid. Light assumed his father didn't realize anything was stolen, but sometimes wondered if that was actually the case.  

As Light went upstairs to pack he tried to bury the old questions that would never be answered. Light needed to pack his things also. All he could think to bring with him were his clothes and schoolwork. The process of packing was blurred and monotonous, he barely concentrated on what he was physically doing. Instead wondering what the future would hold in store. Occasionally, Sayu would pop in to ask where a hairbrush was or if he knew where another bag could be found. The last thing he took with him was a small photograph.


	4. Goodnight

_"Mogi. The ambulance, hurry. Matsuda, go and tell detective Deneuve what's happened." Shuichi Aizawa yelled while running over to the fallen police chiefs side._

_Touta Matsuda was already on the move. Racing over to the open door of the car, the car he and the chief had rode in together, as he shoved his gun back into its holster. Sliding into the front seat Touta fumbled with the black radio before managing a firm enough hold of it._

_"Mr. Deneuve, sir, the ah- Mr. Yagami has been shot in the chest. The criminal too. I mean- I mean you- You were right! The Oil Burner was Ebisawa!"_

_Touta said exitedly, stumbling over the words in his haste. He could feel the quick paced thrum of his own heartbeat as he gasped, watching the events continue from his seat within the police chiefs car._

_A small rush of embarrassment followed his exclamation as he thought about what the chief might have said about his enthusiasm. He gently bit down on his tongue and used it to press down on the adrenaline that coursed through him._

_Obviously The Second Greatest Detective In The World would figure out who the  criminal was quickly, even if the police had been stumped. There was no need to sound so surprised by it. After all, it wasn't even a challenge for the anonymous genius. Deneuve just put the clues together with his gigantic, super powered brain;  seemingly unlimited resources, and presto. If the Chief had been well enough to overhear what he had said Touta would have been on coffee duty again for months._

_"What are their conditions?" The garbled electronic voice of Deneuve went straight to the point._

_This was something he'd grown to appreciate greatly while working with the mysterious detective. If the man thought that Touta was saying unnecessary things, well, he never mentioned it. Deneuve had a schedule to keep to. Case after case. Touta suspected that Deneuve thought that everyone he met said unnecessary things, and that in his eyes even the chief was slow on the uptake._

_"Yes. Ebisawa was shot only in the arm." He answered easily, eyes scanning the black street._

_Touta had shot Ebisawa himself. Turning to check on his boss he had cringed at the sight. The older man was chocking up blood onto Mr. Aizawa's uniform. His hands moving up to the bullet wounds with frantic pain. Where was he shot exactly?_

_"I'm not so sure for the chief, it looks bad."_

_"Alright," Came the swift reply with no obvious sympathy expressed. Though it was a garbled, modified voice and Deneuve could not see the damage in firsthand. "Please face my laptop toward Ebisawa."_

_Once again, as the detective bypassed everything a normal human being might focus on and went stright to buisness, Touta was reminded of the rumor that Denueve was actually a robot. It was a only a joke but Touta couldn't help thinking that it might be true at times._

_Touta warmed up a bit toward the monotonous, stern laptop though when he realized that the famed detective wasn't going to demote him to being an errand runner throughout the entire case._ _Or at least, if Deneuve was doing that, he was putting Touta to work on errands that actually had more to do with speeding the case along than getting the rookie detective out of the way._

 _Touta warmed up a bit toward the monotonous, stern laptop though when he realized that the famed detective wasn't going to demote him to being an errand runner throughout the entire case._ _Or at least, if Deneuve was doing that, he was putting Touta to work on errands that actually had more to do with speeding the case along than getting the rookie detective out of the way._

_In comparison to how it was before, since the chief seemed to have an endless supply of dull and unimportant jobs to do, it was a dream come true._

_Seeing the chief dying Touta felt badly for all the times he wanted to spit in his superiors "black as his personality" coffee. This man had a family, didn't he? Two little kids? That family would be crying their eyes out if the chief died, and the thought laid heavy in his heart._

_Even as he remembered the last cold look that the chief had cast in his direction. It was a look that made him feel as though the chief was going to murder Touta himself. As if he was_ blaming Touta _for everything, for getting shot. It was probably meant for the Oil Burner Killer, those scalding eyes that had looked strangely red. Touta remembered slowing to a complete stop as a chill went down his spine, then the man had fallen back to the ground and Touta had started running toward the car even as Mr. Aizawa began shouting directions._

_Touta wasn't looking forward to going back to work if the chief did make it, which he still might._

_Honestly, Touta had not liked the chiefs company. At any point. Something was offsetting, wrong, about the man. Not that anyone else agreed. For some reason Touta was the only one that could bring up instances, just small instances, where he could point out that something was really wrong. It was always something that happened in a glance or a sentence. All they ever mentioned about that was that the murder of Sachiko Yagami, the chiefs wife, had taken its toll. A large toll. For that reason all of the others were still especially lenient to this day._ _Many of them had seen how her death had changed him, and those that hadn't seen had witnessed the depression that lingered behind and pitied him. The job was the only thing that the chief had left, they said._

_A picture of him and his wife on their wedding day was the only personal item that disturbed the chiefs orderly desk. It was sad. The chief was unnecessarily harsh. Or not harsh exactly, just rigid in his ways? In a bordering on aggressive way._

_Touta hadn't liked Mr. Yagami . He hadn't liked the way he was treated like a kid and it didn't appear that Mr. Yagami liked kids. At all. Touta felt like a not-person in mans eyes._

_The chief was going to be one of those gruff, retired, old fogies that shouted at children when they played on the street in front of his house. The others sometimes got exasperated at Touta, occasionally. He was new to the job still. But then, they knew that Touta_ _was new to the job. Mr. Yagami had seemed to instantly dislike Touta though. He had not known Mr. Yagami for that long. He didn't know as much as the others. It was likely too early to judge._

_So Touta didn't say anything about the lack of training aloud. Not when all that the complaint had gotten him before were friendly slaps on the back. People telling him not to worry. Everyone said that the chief of police would come around. Well, it wasn't happening. If anything, things had gotten worse. The chief still looked at him like he was a useless kid they had to babysit while important men worked. For no reason. Touta couldn't understand Mr. Yagami. Why had he dismissed him from the very beginning?_

_Soichiro Yagami was a confusing man._

_Still, Touta felt badly. As something deep in his gut told him he could, would, have reacted faster than he had. Shot Ebisawa before he'd caused so much damage._

_From his seat he watched Mr. Yagami. Agonized. Still alive._

_An angry scream came from the direction of Ebisawa, drawing his eyes over to the bleeding killer._

_Ebisawa:_ _Serial Murderer. The Oil Burner Killer. The Oil Burn Criminal. Seventeen victims as of two days ago. Yesterday,  Deneuve joined the case._

_"I already have some idea of who the perpetrator might be. With the help of the NPA..."_

_All female. All single. All between the ages of twenty-two  and twenty-four. Each burned within the "safety" of their own homes in the middle of the night, with any evidence to help the police catch him burned  up along with the victims. Except, of course, for the evidence purposely left behind. Taunting letters pinned to their neighbors outside doors._

_The man probably wouldn't have been found as quickly without the help of Deneuve._

_Ebisawa tried to twist away from the hold that they had on him._

_"...auuugh, fuuck."_

_"Who leaked to Sakura?" Someone, Mr. Mogi, was saying as the publicity hounds loud voice blared over the continuous, steady, choppy rumble of a helicopter._

_"THE OIL CRIMINAL! LOOK."_

_Touta imagined himself looking at this from his couch at home as he ate dinner. Scoffing, because everyone knows Demegawa's a sleaze ball. Still watching it happen despite that as more TV stations came to the scene. As the siren of an ambulance could be heard in the distance, almost there._

_Ebisawa didn't seem to notice the larger audience, even as more news reporters soared in for the scoop. He attempted to stand up,  injured arm hanging limply at his side. For Touta, this being his first real chase, the sight was shocking. Exhilarating and slightly frightening. Really frightening. Drops of blood slipped to the ground as Ebisawa's head swung around to glare at the group of policemen that were soon outnumbering him, moving in to surround him with their guns raised. The criminals eyes looked crazed as he panted angrily and tried to get away._

_"Freeze, Ebisawa." The closest police officer said clearly. But Ebisawa wasn't listening because Ebisawa was suddenly falling,_ convulsing _. Opening his mouth in a gargled, almost scream._

_Chest jerking, seizure?_

_"It looks like, a heart attack? But he was only shot in the arm." Touta said to the laptop he held on his knees._

_No one watched as Soichiro Yagami bled painfully to his death by Aizawa's side, The Oil Burner's sudden death too perplexing an anomaly to ignore._

_"He... died."_

_Touta stared, not sure what to do about that._

 

 

All across the news channels of Japan, for what was approximately an hour and a half, criminals of all sorts were dropping dead like flies. All of them dying from heart attacks just after they were seen on television.

L checked for any other strange types of deaths that might be occurring in, during, and around the time frame of the victims heart failures. He had even checked other countries outside of Japan. There was nothing else. It appeared supernatural and specific to the Kanto region of Japan. Its sole purpose seemingly to rid Japan of its criminals.

Altruistic? Doubtful. But was it premeditated?

A rash of serial murders . That's what it looked like, though it would take more than an hour and a half for Japan to react to the situation at this point. L didn't worry about that, he assumed the killings would continue soon. Whatever it was that the perpetrators wanted, they couldn't have gotten it in such a short timeframe. Something of this scale, L would usually without a doubt assume that a large number of people were involved in the making of this killing spree. Yes, yet considering the order in which the score of deaths occurred, he had some doubts.

How could a large group gain all of the information necessary, some of it having only just been broadcast to the news as the attack happened? Most notably the first murder, The Oil Burner, and possibly the first victim.

The killers would have needed to be a large network, L would have noticed something  of that nature forming in the ranks of the NPA long before its debut on television.

After Ebisawa, the killings continued in a line. The news would report someone, the chosen criminal would die near instantaneously. Often within thirty-five minutes at most of their name being broadcast.

Tohru, Katsuro, Ryota , a break for commercials, but instead of continuing on the deaths would stop on that channel until moments later the pattern start again on a new channel.

Heart attack. Heart attack. Heart attack.

Switching from one news station to another L following this pattern the whole way through, until abruptly it stopped for the last time. No other forms of death continued in its place. Many of the victims were healthy, without a history of heart failures.

Suspicious, the super detective waited for more.

It seemed nothing more was going to happen though, not tonight. So he did not waste more of his time on that task. If it started at the same exact time the next day, that would be interesting. L would wait. This break gave him more time to mull over the mystery. Gaps between action were the times when L could get ahead of a killer.

So L searched for clues. He considered the death of Soichiro Yagami, Police Chief of the NPA. He had been _shot_ by Ebisawa, was that significant to the events that proceeding thereafter? Or not?

Hours passed.

When would this case reach the public eye? It had already been noticed and commented on. The attention it garnered would only grow from now on, and when the kill count became large enough in Japan that it was a real problem L would take on the case.

 

It was closely nearing midnight and neither of them had spoken a word in the time it took to wait. Instead, they took in what would no longer be their home.

The few important possessions that they owned were packed. The rest of the house belong to their father.

All of the lights had been switched off. Much of everything was still intact. The table, couch, television. Chairs, rugs, lamps. Empty bookshelves, nearly empty kitchen cupboards. All of the things that they were careful not to mess up, overly careful.

It was alright. Light had always been a cautious child, only becoming more so as he reached maturity and his father grew angrier.

It was fortunate, then, that Light was never been a sloppy child. He had detested being dirty or being surrounded by filth. When he was young he distinctly remembered playing at the park, looking down at his hands and frowning at the texture of dirt underneath his nails and frowning when he saw that Sayu was even dirtier.

When his mother died he remembered everything that she had taken care of. He did what he could and learned what he didn't know.

It was still a no win situation. Light had long ago given up that driving ambition to always win though. They were never safe.

 

 

 _Light was crying into his arms, knew he was sobbing too loudly, unable to stop._ _He sat on the ground. This is my life?_

_Light had expected it, in the back of his mind, when he was sent to bed without dinner but Sayu was allowed to stay._

_He was_ not _surprised._

_Light had been torn from his bed._

_"-why do you not understand? It's your fault . YOURS." His father had shouted, enraged. Dragging him out of his room._

 

_"Am I good, Light?" His little sister tugged at the hem of his school shirt._

_Her eyes were a bright, lovely brown. Maybe she was going to cry. Did she think he would say no?_

_Light took a hold of her warm hand, noting the smallness of it in comparison to his own. Reminding him of the way his parents hands had felt a long time ago, before Sayu was born, when they  would each take one of his in their hands as they walked to the car. The cool air around him, the smell of white snow, but his hands would be warm._

_His mother smiling and kneeling down,_

_"Hold still, Light." she had said, when she buttoned up his jacket. The collar tucking uncomfortably against the bare skin of his neck. She hugged him. His mother.  Warmth._

_A scarf looping around his neck. Tightening._

_He remembered how his father would catch his mothers eyes._ _Love._

_Am I good Light? He hugged her. Focused on the warmth of her arms around his, swallowed down the strange tightness that formed in his throat._

_"Of course."_

 

 

The doorbell rang. Clear and loud and startling. The two Yagami's wasted no time in hoisting their respective bags over their shoulders. Prying the door open to see, presumably, the face of Mr. Mogi.

A tall man with small eyes stared down at them with a sad and subdued expression on his face.

By his side stood a younger man that looked equally distressed, probably for them.

Light said nothing, contorting his face into one of restrained anguish. He glanced over at Sayu who wasn't watching any of them and was adjusting the strap of her backpack.

She eventually looked up at the sturdy looking man, her gaze unimpressed and empty. A look she commonly reserved for rebellion.

"ID please." She said airily, arms crossed. She stared with displeasure at the two and Light almost, almost wanted to roll his eyes. Was this really the time to be fooling around? Their father had just died, they needed to be distraught and grieve.

Both of the detectives mouths dropped slightly. She was staring intently at the "possible" Mr. Mogi. His face comic in its surprise.

"What? " He asked.

"We aren't just going to walk off with a couple of strangers now, are we?" She asked in turn.

The man looked shocked before some form of imagined understanding swept over his features and he pulled out his badge for her. Sayu glanced at it momentarily, just long enough to really look like she was paying attention to it, before she looked back up. Obviously, Mr. Mogi assumed that this was Sayu going through a form of grief, the anger stage, instead of Sayu just being Sayu and making things difficult for an officer. He likely thought that she was going to break down in tears now that she realized everything was true, judging by his expression. Still, it was good to know for sure that the man was indeed who he said he was. Light knew that wasn't what his sister was thinking when she decided to goad the detectives but that was fine, Light had checked. It was official. His father was dead. Somehow it was this, the two unhappy men at his door waving real badges out for his younger sibling to see, this was the proof Light needed that his father was dead and not coming home.

It was numbing. Light wasn't sure cared, he must have looked the part though as both of the detectives turned to watch him with focused concern.  

When his mom died, he cared. Cared so much it felt like he was being stabbed repeatedly. In the way that she had been stabbed. Repeatedly. It hurt. It killed him, it scared him.

Light hadn't known he could care for his mother as much as he did until she was dying, and then dead.

Sayu nodded, walking stiffly around the men to go to the parked vehicle. It was going to be a long car ride.

"We were in the middle of an important case..." Mr. Mogi was explaining as he walked with Light to the car.

 

 

_"Memory is unreliable." Light was saying, his mother smiled happily._

_"Why is that?" She asked him, curious._

_"Well, how could any memory of something be entirely accurate? Emotions in one moment will go away after a time. How could someone feel guilt if every time they thought of something the emotions that they had at the time were felt at full force again? We wouldn't learn anything that way. We would always feel the same things instead of being able to have a new outlook when we thought about it..."_

_Her cleaning fingers slowed as she put some thought into what he'd said. Every day she seemed to look more and more bemused by his choice in topics. It made her rather happy though, Light thought._

 

_His father was in his room. Light watched from the door as everything was torn apart. His backpack was ripped open. His drawers were pulled out. He didn't dare to ask what his father was looking for._

_Sometimes he thought that his father was insane, but the man didn't talk to voices or see things that were not real. He was just angry, and when it came to the surface he destroyed everything._

_Later his father went down stairs and Light winced as he heard a loud crash as furniture was tipped over. Light didn't know whether his  father ever found what he was searching for._

_He redid his ruined homework, fell asleep to the sound of crying._

 

 

"We are so sorry for your loss." The younger detective, Touta Matsuda, jumped in to say. He seemed worn out.

"It's not your fault." Light said.

That was all that Light could think of to say. He wasn't hurt over his father's death in the way that these two men were, and it made the situation unbearable. These were people that his father actually cared something about, right?

The three of them headed for the car where Sayu stood waiting, re-fixing one of the straps on the backpack.


	5. Drive

_Light felt_ sick _. With one hand he strained to open the closet door, tugging at the doorknob weakly, but it was locked. His eyes slipped shut as a strong rush of wooziness came over him. Holding himself up with his grip on the handle his body went slack, head resting against the cool door... he was going to be sick._

_Taking a few short breaths he tried again. Light almost needed to puke once more though and with his other hand he held onto his shirt tightly. He pressed his clenched fist gently against his unsettled stomach as he opened his eyes and stared at the floor, the floor that wasn't visible except for a small glimmer of light that speared through the crack underneath the doorway. Inside the closet it was pitch black. Quiet moans and weeping could be heard, muffled, on the other side._

_His mouth opened and closed. Let me out, he thought. He pushed with his whole body when the door didn't open. It stayed locked. I want out._ _Let me OUT. He hit the door. But. The door. Wouldn't._

 

_The car was silent. Sayu had her arms crossed, and she was frowning unhappily as her parents argued with one another. She peered quietly out the window, watched the sky darken._

_Light, ignoring the quarrel altogether, stayed silent and stared at his knees. She watched with wide eyes as their car passed all of the other cars on the long street._

 

_Light tightened his grip, the car seat smooth beneath his blunt fingertips. All of his attention was on his parents though._

_"Just doing as you please? Forgetting about your family? I can't comprehend it, Sachiko."_

_Light notices the rising anger. The tension. The car is moving_ too _fast. They could hit something, another car or a_ person _. Light has never been in a speeding vehicle before and hadn't known that  a car, this car, could move so quickly._

 _"Oh right, I'm the one forgetting my family? I'm at home everyday raising our children while you run off to play the_ hero _. I've never complained!"_

_"This is my fault now?"_

_"No. I didn't mean-"_

_"What, didn't mean what? To do it, for me to figure it out? I'm a detective. I see these situations all the time. But I never thought... forget it. Either way it's too late."_

_"That's not what I was going to say! I have never cheated on you, ever!"_

_The car parked with a sharp jerk. The evening had started off in peace. It had been nice, special, because all of them were together which was rather uncommon as Dad had to work hard if he wanted to be promoted._

_His parents had never really fought before, not seriously that he could remember. When they fought it wasn't this bad. Light would hold his breath and wait for the argument to end. This time it was different. Fueled with something bitter that Light hadn't noticed building up before, and his dad looked like he was going to explode as he opened the car door. This wasn't simple bickering._

_He thought about the arguments that his parents would always mutually put to a rest when they realized that Light and Sayu were in the room and that they were both getting louder as they spoke. They would stop when Light looked up at them.  At times they would even make up with one another. Light knew that they didn't actually forgive each other. But they  pretended that they were alright._

_"Are they even mine?" His dad harshly asked as he stepped out of the car and slammed the door._

_A mortally offended look fell across his moms face as she slammed the car door shut, her eyes going cold as they narrowed further._

_"Of course they are! How can you even ask that?"_

_"How can I not? He doesn't even look like me."_

_Light's dad was pointing at him. A sharp finger that felt accusing, accusing of what exactly Light didn't want to suspect was true. Mine? Did he think that Light wasn't his? Was Light not his son? The implications started to take root as he held his breath, not daring to breath as the anger continued to build higher and higher. If his dad was not his dad then..._

_"Those are your grandfathers eyes and you know it, Soichiro. Some would say he didn't look like_ me _either, he is, not your every child is going to be the spitting image of you."_

_"Shut up."_

_"No."_

 

_Light didn't want to ask about that night, unlike Sayu._

_"Mommy, why is daddy mad?"_

_"Daddy has made a mistake, the stubborn man..."_

_Light allowed the words to wash away the anger that he remembered, and the stinging accusation that had been aimed in his direction._

 

_"Mommy did a bad thing, Honey." Dad said a little angrily when Sayu asked him what was wrong one night before bedtime._

 

 

The drive to Mr. Matsuda's apartment complex didn't go as badly as it could have. Sayu spent the entirety of it starring out the window and not answering questions directed  at her. That left Light to listen and answer for them both. He refrained from offering his usual, distracting, smiles when Mr. Matsuda turned to offer them his condolences once again. His smile that put others to ease would be inappropriate at this time.

 If anything, Light and Sayu should have been crying. They should have seemed distraught or shocked. At the most, Light felt numb.


	6. Life Changes

L was disappointed. A slight petulance coiled low in his gut as he solved his last case in Japan.

It had been three months since the slew of heart attacks that first caught his full attention yet nothing more happened. By now others had all but forgotten the mysterious occurrence. Only L had held onto his suspicions, sure that he would be proven right soon enough.

He had only taken on his current case to stay in Japan for longer. He had wanted to personally be in the vicinity of the first attack when it repeated itself. Unfortunately, at this point he was realizing that the case wasn't going to take off with the dramatic continuation of what had happened that first night. It was enough to throw him headlong into to a slump, he simply couldn't help being childishly angered at not getting his way. Especially when he _knew_ he was right. There was something off about that night.

L had made numerous speculations about what had occurred with nothing fitting quite right, to his furthering irritation.

The case had truly gone cold and L quietly commended the killer in question. They had defeated the worlds greatest detective without even knowing it. L's only consolation was that the one witness to his loss was Watari who didn't see it as a loss at all.

"Are you ready to go?" Watari asked, a quiet concern in his eyes.

The older man knew how L was feeling of late. Knew that he didn't see the recent case as a victory as it had only been a stand in to buy time. All L could think as he took in a deep breath, closing the heartbreaker file, was that he wouldn't be coming back to Japan in a long time.

"Yes, lets leave."

 Maybe a case in Russia would take his mind off this.

 

 

 

Its been three months and eleven days since Light burned the death note. Life is beginning to settle into something promising. The men that had worked with his father all seemed to take Light and Sayu under their wings, pitching in with heartfelt support to search for family that could take them in. Reassuring both siblings that they would stay in contact no matter what.

It was touching to Light, though he was surprised by their sentimentality. 

They seemed to believe that Light and Sayu had been told about them. That their father had been _protective_  of them after his wife's murder. They didn't speak about it but he learned that they had tried to help his father at that time. They tried to be understanding and supportive but seemed to recognize that they had failed at that in the quiet moments when they remembered their former chief. Soichiro Yagami was never the same after his wife's passing.

While they knew he hadn't really coped with her death, they didn't realize to what extent he had changed.

Talking to them gave him a different understanding of what his fathers life was like. Or, how thoroughly his father had been able to hide his true nature from those that he worked with.

Light hadn't expected anything this different when comparing both lives. Matsuda was the only one that seemed to have glimpsed at the mans darker nature, causing the young man to be uncharacteristically silent when the others spoke about the former police chief and the cases that were solved because of his keen detective work. If nothing else could be said in his favor Light knew that he had been an incredible detective.

When they turned nostalgic Light usually just feigned grieving and left the house for a walk as he was now. Sayu, who was more honest and less patient with his fathers work buddies, would go to her room and slam the door loudly. Over the months Light had not been able to convince his sister to pretend she was sad that their dad died. She was convinced that they wouldn't be caught which Light had to admit at this point was true but it still exasperated him a little. He made do by implying to the others that she had never been supportive of their fathers career. They accepted the explanation with sympathy.

 

_"Really Light?"  Sayu asked reproachfully, turning her back to him as she hung her clothes._

_Light grimaced, he didn't like disappointing her even if the circumstances hadn't given him much choice._

_"I had to tell them something. When you lash out at them they look to me to decipher why you're doing it."_

_"You don't have to answer them." Sayu said irritably._

_"I know they deserve no answer. I just want to make this transition easier for us, that means being on the good side of those that can help us instead of alienating them for what they will never know." Light said pointedly._

_Sayu gripped the clothes in her hands tightly before she finally sighed, shoulders slumping as she conceded the point._

_"I get it I just- Why do I feel like we've gone from living one lie to another?"_

Because we have. _T_ _his lie is safer than the last though._ _Light remained quiet. If his sister had been closer he would have hugged her. She kept her distance though and he kept his._

 

Walking through the street Light's was distracted from his thoughts as an elderly man slipped outside of a bakery with six large boxes in his arms. He was struggling with the load, moving at a rather quick pace, and didn't notice how close he was to nearly slamming into Light as he headed to his destination. Light was barely able to step out of the way but his shoulder caught on one of the boxes as he moved.

The man gasped in surprise as everything he held tipped toward the ground, or more accurately, toward Light. He only had his fast reflexes to thank as he turned on the spot to catch the confectionaries. Two of them hit the sidewalk.

Really, what did the man need this many cakes for? Light said nothing though as he regained his balance.


	7. Kira

_As Light said goodbye to the elderly man, only catching a small glimpse of the wild haired man inside, he never realized how close he was to meeting L. The only person in the world that correctly suspected that their was more going on the night that Sayu started killing criminals._

_The man thanked him and soon enough the car had disappeared from sight._

 

**Seven Years Later**

Light stared at the television with sinking dread as yet another criminal died of a heart attack, like clockwork. This was the thirty-seventh man this week and he knew precisely what was happening. Light had never forgotten that night, or the part he played in it. Time had eventually eased his mind, allowed him to move past it, but not his guilt.

Sayu was in collage, working part time to help pay the bills with him at a coffee shop, and Light was working as a school nurse at a middle school a short walk from their apartment, making sure that no child that he saw was slipping through life abused like he and Sayu had been. 

No one knew about their history, no one even suspected, and that was a true comfort to him. That the only scars he had were the physical kind underneath his shirt, on his body. He had never allowed his father to ruin his mind. To those that knew Light he was a professional, charismatic, intelligent human being. A tribute to society. He had read before that the abused often became the abusers, and the notion had chilled him, especially when he remembered how easily he would have killed his own parent. How he had given Sayu the ability to do so. But Light had become an upstanding citizen and so had Sayu.

Light couldn't be more proud of her.

For a long time the shadow of that night had seemed to follow them everywhere, creating a rift between the them. For the first time in their lives they had been at odds.

 

 

 

_"You killed people and you act like it doesn't change anything." Light said, feeling worn out from his job and collage courses._

_He rubbed at his eyes in exhaustion. They were fighting again. Would it ever stop?_

_Sayu's hands slammed down onto their wobbly kitchen table. The loud sound of it making Light flinch in his seat._

_"They were murders._ He _was a monster. You say things have changed like it's a bad thing." She spit._

_Light knew that, on some level he understood perfectly, and yet he felt as if he should have been the one to have used the death note. A part of him couldn't let go of that guilt, and it had clouded their relationship since that day. He knew it, and he wanted what they had back. But when he looked at her he saw that day again and when he slept he relived it._

_He had never meant to still be worried about this years later. It still did though and Sayu noticed and hated that it had effected him._

_"You should be thanking me, I saved us. I saved_ you _from a miserable life and it's like you hate me for it." Sayu said, the heat in her voice reseading slightly._

_When he looked up their were tears in her eyes._

_"No. I would never hate you, Sayu. You're my sister... I just feel like I should have protected you better. I showed you the death note."  Light said._

_"... You always say that_ you _should have been the one to use the death note, but look at how much it kills you that even I've used it. Have you thought about how much worse it would have been if you_ had _done it? Do you think I could have let you do that to yourself?" Sayu asked.  
_

_When Light didn't reply she kept going._  

 _"And do you really think it ever would have gotten better without the death note? Do you honesty believe he would have let us go, woul_ _dn't have killed us himself eventually? He always hated you more, never quite believed that you were his son. The better you did in school the more he hated you. It was like your existence proved that whatever guy mom cheated on him with was a better man than he'd ever be-"_

_"Mom didn't cheat." Light hissed firmly._

_"Fine. Doesn't matter though. What I'm saying is he would have never let you go. He'd have killed you before he ever let you have even the littlest bit of happiness, and I think you know it. I saved us, Light."_

_Light wasn't sure about that. Yes, Father had been escalating at the time._

_Had he been angry enough to kill them though? Ruin his career or get himself placed in jail for it?_ _Would he have able to get away with it?_

_Light forced himself not to contemplate that._

_"Yet, everyday you walk around as if the world has ended." Sayu was saying._ _"It's worse than when he was here. At least then you had some fight in you, at least then you tried to make the best of it because you wanted the best for us. Now it's like you're just going through the motions. I killed him so that we could finally have some happiness in our life. Now we can, and you're too busy feeling bad about what I did to even care. Don't you think I've noticed the way you look at me now? Like I'm dangerous or something and it's your fault?"_

_"I don't-"_

_"Yes you do! It's not fair Light. I'm really trying to make the best of it here and you're not making it easy. Is this how you want us to live the rest of our lives? Always rehashing the past? Or do you want to move on? Make something of our lives."_

_Light looked at her pleading eyes and for the first time realized what his guilt over that night was doing to them. How it was sucking the life out of them, after they had made it this far now he was the one that was keeping them away from finding happiness._

_He had been afraid of how the death note effected his sister. She never once felt bad for what she did, not even for killing the criminals, and it had worried Light. Punctured a hole in his image of Sayu, because the sister he knew couldn't hurt people. Even bad people. Part of Light equated it to being like their dad._

_He remembered when his dad would talk to him about justice. About the law and good and evil. Then Light saw the worst side of his dad and didn't know what justice was anymore. He saw how easily a person could be corrupted and it scared him._

_Sayu had never seen their dad like he used to be. She would never understand how much Light missed him, even now. Or how afraid Light was of loosing her too._

_In that moment he saw their future if he didn't stop trying to make her understand why she shouldn't have used the death note. Saw Sayu moving on and letting him go, because she couldn't stand the fear in his eyes for her anymore. The idea of it hurt and Light knew that he had to change. Had to find a way to make things right._

_Holding onto the past wasn't doing either of them good._

_He slumped in his seat and when he looked up Sayu was stepping away, afraid that her words hadn't reached him._

_"No. You're right, Sayu. You're right."_

_He hid his fears in a box._

_Sayu looked at him closely from across the table. He hid the fear in his eyes away. He would never let her see him afraid of her again and when she rushed over to hug him, believing him, he knew that she was the same and he had been wrong. Sayu was nothing like their dad and they could do this._

_"We'll move on. Find happiness." Light whispered, holding her tight just like he always had._

 

 

 

Now someone else had the death note and their every kill was a throwback to their past. His hidden fears, long forgotten, were peaking out of the box he placed them in.  

He was barely able to hide how much this effected him from Sayu. But he knew she sensed it.

Sayu hadn't said a word about Kira. Even though it seemed to be on everyone's else's minds. The News was still reporting it as strange heart attacks but everyone at work was called it the work of Kira, a name that was spreading on the internet and by word of mouth. Light knew that more people must have been talking about it at her University, she was working to become a prosecutor now. Debates would be raging, from who was doing it to if it was right or wrong.

When the news reported the killings Sayu would change the channel to some drama though. Tell him he watched too much News and Light would let her more easily than usual, unwilling to call her out on it.

He didn't want to hear what she might say about Kira.

 

When Sayu came home she heard the news again and closed her eyes as she stood in the doorway of their apartment. She knew what the work of Kira had been doing to Light. How could she not? It reminded her of those first years after she had used the death note and how Light had started treating her cautiously.

She hadn't noticed the change in him at first. Too busy dealing with her own emotions, swinging from triumph to anger because she couldn't finish her work. She would be lying if she said she didn't think Kira was a rip off. Killing criminals had been _her_ idea. How much farther, better would the world be today if it had started back then?

Part of her wanted to be in the thick of things still. Unlike everyone else she knew what was going on and even though she wished it was her, secretly she was applauding Kira's every action.

Sayu knew how Light would react to that though, she even understood why he would react that way, and if keeping the peace meant avoiding the topic of Kira around Light then she would do that.

What Light didn't know wouldn't hurt him.


	8. Lies

When Kira begins killing criminals L takes a up a case in Japan. Watari gives him a look at the abrupt change of schedule but says nothing about it as he carries on making arrangements. Informing Mello, Matt, and Near about the new plan soon afterwards. Mello, unsurprisingly, calls him and demands answers. L, pointedly, does not give him any because he is his L and he is the boss and Mello is his _subordinate._ Which the blond seems to continuously forget.

The truth is that L still feels like Kira is the one case he never answered, and he will _not_ lose a second time.

 

 

Light stares down at the number he brought up on his cellphone.

Matsuda.

He hasn't spoken to the man since their Aunt Sakiko came to pick them up from his apartment. It had surprised Light that they had any family left, but apparently his mom had a falling out with her older sibling when they were young and the two never spoke to one another. The older woman looked like Mom. That, in the end, was the hardest part about living with her for the few years it took him to graduate and find a job.

Sakiko had urged them both to stay but Light hadn't been able to. She was kind enough to remind him of his moms personality. She had stories about her when she was little, and pictures. She assumed that his father was an exemplary man that loved his family very much. She could relate to him because her own husband had died young too, of cancer.

Light tried not to think about Sakiko. He ignored most of her calls, only communicating with her enough for it to not seem like he was. He couldn't help his aversion of her, of everything that reminded him of his childhood.

 

_Sayu smiled as she stared down at the pictures of their mom when she was a toddler, held in the arms of her big sister. Aunt Sakiko was pointing at it, explaining what they were doing that day._

_"It was grandma's birthday and Sachiko was going around saying happy birthday to everyone. She was the cutest baby."_

_This was the first time Light had heard that story and from where he sat at the kitchen table, doing his homework quietly, he absorbed all of the stories she told. Tucking them away to think about later on._

 

_When everyone was asleep he found the photo album again and turned to the same picture. Sliding his finger down his mothers wide mouthed smile._

_Beneath it was a photo of his parent's wedding. The warm smiles of love and devotion in their eyes were apparent as they took their vows. Light closed the book gently and put it back exactly from where he'd found it._

 

Matsuda was one of those people that Light wanted to never think about again. He had trusted him though, to an extent. Matsuda was the only one that didn't sing his father's praises after his death. He had been unobtrusive, in a way, and kind. A little unintelligent but trustworthy and by now he wouldn't be a rooky anymore. Light would be able to go to him with this and not be brushed aside. Hopefully.

Light only wondered if he should go to him. The police. It would either end with his arrest or with him being laughed out the room for his outlandish tale. It was likely that multiple people would already be going to the police. Claiming to be Kira and telling tall tales. His name would just be added to the list and ignored.

If he told Matsuda though, gave him his story and left it to the man to accept it or not. Information about the death note would be crucial to the investigation soon enough, and Light remembered all the rules and could explain them.

His phone rang suddenly, startling him. Light answered it after a ring.

"Hello."

"Hello, Light. I wanted to let you know that I'll be working late tonight, so don't worry about waiting up." Kiyomi said.

"Alright. Thank you for letting me know."

He talked to his girlfriend for a few moments more. His thoughts still on Kira as she explained the latest news report she was working on. Light enthused with her, sensing her excitement and knowing what she wanted from him. Kiyomi had been Light's girlfriend since his fist year at To-Oh University and he was now adept at interpreting her moods and keeping her happy.

She loved him. He'd made sure of it by being exactly what she wanted. The only place in which he had deviated being that she had wanted him to go on to become a doctor, which he had all of the resource to be with his mind being what it was, whereas Light had wanted to be working and helping people as soon as possible. In the end, Light thought that a part of her liked being the one that made the most money between them with the more prestigious job working for the TV station NHN.

When he hung up he went to his bedroom to get ready for bed, slightly pleased that he wouldn't have to get dressed up for a date at a fancy restaurant with his girlfriend while Sayu teased him about it. Sayu had slowly formed a more amiable relationship with Kiyomi after a shaky start between them. Both women wanting to be the most important person to him and Light having to prove to them that they were. Of course, Sayu was actually the most important but Light had to keep up the pretense for Kiyomi. As his girlfriend he wanted her to feel happy and loved.


End file.
